Finding myself creatively

Disclaimer: this post has been written whilst stoned so I can't promise quality

 It's without a shadow of a doubt that over the past couple of years I've been desperately trying to conjure up a creative side of me. A side and strength of imagination that has been suppressed for many years and as I moved on into adulthood, was quashed time and time again.

I have never questioned that I was a creative soul. From a young age I stood out (without sounding like a stuck-up twat), I was considered significantly further ahead in terms of my technical artistic ability than the other girls in school and in my creative writing endeavours, I never did worse than 100% in the GCSE creative writing tests. I'm not good at anything else. I was never gifted with any talents in Math or Science, or even languages, a degree I'm pursuing now. I can't sing a single note or really have an appreciation of music. I was good at sports but was never truly passionate about it. But I could always count on being the best in my year group artistically. 

As time went on, I was fed a false narrative about how artistic careers are useless and a fast track to unemployment. In year 9 we had to complete expansive testing which gathered data on every aspect of our brain, determining our strengths and weaknesses, in the hopes of it showing us a clear direction in life that we should take. At the time, the idea of sitting for a day and completing strange tests, which included making shapes out of building blocks, arithmetic questions and non-verbal reasoning, sounded like a useless day of boredom and unnecessary. How dare some group of psychologists test my brain and determine my fate! 

The results came through a couple months later and we handed a customised booklet detailing every way that our individual brains work, finishing with a list of career paths that would be best suited to us and that we would excel in. Unsurprisingly, my career results were along the lines of 'graphic designer', 'illustrator' and 'set designer'. Every single one my recommended paths was creative. And yet, in my foolish teenage mind, I decided "that means nothing!", they can't possibly know what I want in life, before even I do! 

However, here I am, writing this post at age 21 years old, and desperately trying to get back on the right path, after spending years focussing on academic success, instead of creative success. It's like there's a block on my mind, or even more accurate, there's a whole world of ideas and innovation just waiting to be awoken. How can I access it as quickly as possible?

The answer I've come to, is analysing the works of others and then practising. Practice, practice, practice. Whenever there is an opportunity, take it to draw, photograph and write. There is no way to find your style and interests, without constantly trialling new endeavours. 

Furthermore, routine seems to be an essential part of this journey to excellence. I've been looking at famous writers and artists and their daily routines.

Stephen King said:

“I have a glass of water or a cup of tea. There’s a certain time I sit down, from 8:00 to 8:30, somewhere within that half hour every morning,” he explained. “I have my vitamin pill and my music, sit in the same seat, and the papers are all arranged in the same places…The cumulative purpose of doing these things the same way every day seems to be a way of saying to the mind, you’re going to be dreaming soon.” 

All the creatives I've come across, wake up early and immediately start over coffee. They force themselves to sit in front of their laptop or open up their sketchbook, even if they're tired and burnt out. The truth is, even if you wake up everyday and create shit, there'll be a diamond in there somewhere, and doing it religiously everyday will increase the chances of getting that perfect shot, or an excellent short story. 

 So, what's my routine? What routine is going to wake up my dormant creative side? 

On Mondays and Wednesdays, I get to University for 10am, and then on the other weekdays, I have to be there at 8am. So how do I manage to fit in an hour of writing a day? The afternoon surely? But no, that's the time for me to surf, go to the beach and relax. Evenings it is. I don't eat dinner, so sitting in bed and writing at night seems to be the best option. 

What do I write about? The big ol' question. I think starting by writing what is around me is a start. I have so many thoughts and ideas, questions and theories about everything going on around me. I reckon I should just start there. In an age of constant information input, through social media and the internet, I have a constant supply of topics to talk about. There's really no excuse. 

Sure, I might end up writing a fiction book based of true crime, or I might write feminist essays. I may even end up delving into the world of tabloid journalism (I hope not). But for now, I'm not going to stick to a genre, I'm going to write freely. 

Stayed tuned I guess to see what happens.

Hasta luego, 

Liana