Thinking about how to build an effective female character in the context of sex

 Every day, after returning from University, I sit down and eat my lunch in front of YouTube. Time and time again, I get recommended videos analysing female characters, whether it be in film, literature, or art. 

There is the cliché of male writers, creating female characters which tend to follow this description:

"The cold air made my hair stand up from the roots, the way my nipples stand erect, every follicle on my arms and legs becoming a tiny clitoris" 

(I have no clue which book this is but this is one of the many examples I found on google)

First thoughts are undoubtedly, 'what the actual fuck', and of course, this is an extreme case. However, the majority of female characters who are composed by men, have their sexual behaviour central to their description. There is a descriptive concentration on looks perceived by the heterosexual male eye. There is often no description of her character unless it relates to the man's sexual desires. (This has immediately got me thinking about the concept of a 'manic pixie dream girl' and the 'Madonna complex', but I'll leave that for another post).

Sure, the expression of female sexuality and representation of women as sexual beings, on the whole, is not inherently wrong. In fact, it's quite the opposite. 

Take Samantha Jones from Sex and the City. She regularly details her sex life throughout the show's six seasons. She's rightly shameless and discusses it the way that men stereotypically do. But the focus is on female pleasure. It is completely and fully focused on what she achieves from her sexual experiences. Yet her character is not entirely based around sex. We see how she is a high-achieving career woman, who places her needs first, outside of the context of sex. Additionally, she is confident in her abilities and will be always there for her closest friends. Yes, she is extremely confident, but there is a difference between confidence and vanity. She remains unselfish, only sure of herself as a person.  

However, she is still somewhat demonised. Carrie Bradshaw shames her or finds her often outlandish, and the other women constantly seem shocked by her openness. It's as if, even in a pioneering show about female sex, society continues to influence. There is no doubt that if this was a show about a group of 'lads' out in New York City, each and every one of them would be explicit about their relationships. 

On the other hand, in saying that, I am being somewhat prejudiced against women who wish to maintain their privacy. There is nothing wrong in keeping the details about sexual relations completely private. I mean, that's the great thing about feminism, it is aiming to give us the option to shout about sex freely to the whole world, whilst also allowing us to remain confidential if we so wish. 

I myself am one of those women, who like Samantha, talks about every one of my experiences. If something revolutionary in my sex life happens, I can guarantee my girlfriends will be hearing about it. The majority of them embrace it and show no sign of disgust. While they may not delve into details and share their own anecdotes, they are open to discussion of sex.

Unfortunately, one of my friends tends to channel Carrie Bradshaw's prudish character impressively well. She is always disgusted by the idea of women being sexual beings, and time and time again, I find her never to be by my side when experiencing sexism at the hands of the men around me. She continues to defend them and simply says "I see what you mean, but they haven't treated me that way". Society's misogyny is so deeply rooted in her, that she won't even stick up for her fellow woman.  

Taking it back a step to the sculpting of female characters. One needs a balance. A good female character must have a description which is developed completely without the influence of sex, since women are so much more than their vaginas and what they want to do with them. Yet, including details of their sex life is not off the cards. Sex rules the world. Most of what we do is realistically motivated by sex. I've come to the conclusion that it's the combination of physical description and sex, which is the problem. There is no need to relate the build of a woman to her sexual relations. Appearance and sex should be entirely separate when writing. 

I have a lot more to say on this, perhaps even an entire dissertation, but for now, I will just scrape the surface.

Hasta luego, 

Liana